Do your debt and credit card bills keep you awake at night? Tired of avoiding bill collectors’ calls? Are your student loans piling up and your clothes were purchased new by somebody else that donated them eventually to a thrift store 10 years ago? Then you must feel like me! Well, perhaps not as extreme as it sounds, but sometimes it feels that way. Being a forever student who works a ton of a lot, I often find myself feeling extremely overwhelmed with the difficult task of living paycheck to paycheck. To be honest, I am burnt right out. I am at a job that I have mixed feelings about, but ultimately I know that I am ready to move on. But I feel stuck. Been here before anyone? So this morning I used my morning bus meditation time to daydream about what I would do if I won the lottery or came into a large sum of money (which would be anything over $100 at this time).
My ideas were humble….I would pay off debt and leave my job of course (pending the winning amount is over the previously suggest $100, otherwise I guess I could put that toward one bill). I would take time off to finish my educational goals. And with the extra time I may have, I would use it to do other ideas I have had in mind that are nice ideas, but merely that at this time. I would love to organize a fundraiser, volunteer as a Big Sister, and offer my services at an outreach for the homeless. I would also love to go visit my Grandma and Grandpa in Ontario which is currently a small fortune to fly across our own country. That’s not much, nor very exciting to most people. And I realize that there are these superstar good samaritans out there that manage to overcome huge life challenges, hold jobs and volunteer…and to you guys I salute you. I just can’t find the time nor energy at the end of a long work week and the rest of my spare time is spent balancing my bank account and stressing myself to sleep.
I am hoping that once we manage to make our planned move this fall over to the island, I will manage to shed some of this worry. I realize that I am wasting too much of my own good energy stressing about bits of life that are insane and missing out on doing more good and having more fun. But until then, I guess it’s time to go grab some lottery tickets. Now accepting lucky number ideas……..