Category Archives: Random thoughts

whoa…you have a blog?

Yes I do. I just completely left it untouched for over one month. We all do this right?

Although it is completely negligent of me to bury my outlet, I have had time to think up thoughts, you see…

Topic for discussion:

What is your labour truly worth?

My job is in the caring field and I chose to go in this direction. It’s really something I feel drawn to. It certainly isn’t the money I can assure you that. But my philosophy goes something along the lines of “caring for and helping people is rewarding” or something like that….

One of my 3 jobs I find more exhausting (physically and mentally) than the others and let me brief you without too many details but enough so that you can understand my reason for discussing your worth in labour.

The other day I showed up to work at a location I was last at in December – clearly I would be a bit rusty on the specific procedures but I consider myself “with it” enough that I am great “on the fly”. Immediately I am left alone with four individuals that do not remember me or really know who I am – and it’s 7 o’ clock in the morning (on a Sunday).  Things were off to a rough start. I spent 2 hours convincing one individual to move out of one room that someone else needed to use ( you can use your imagination to figure out which room that might be), cooked pancakes for everyone, assisted with 3 full on baths/showers/help to get ready. I was sweating by 9am. But really, this is kind of what I had expected – although it had been a while since I had worked in a place like this, I expected the chaos.

What I did not expect was yet to come.

In a nutshell, I was groped by one of the people in the house. Not like a gentle kind of possibly accidental one either. I was pinned down and my upper torso area (again figure it out) was grabbed while in front of the other people I was supporting. I was shocked, embarrassed and extremely distraught at what happened yet I had to pick up and carry on until the end of my shift. Of course there was paper work to be filled out and incident reports etc. but I seriously had to carry on like it was no big thing.

It was shortly after this exact moment that I thought to myself
“holy crap…is this really worth it?” Like how much do people really put up with at their jobs to earn their keep?

I know there are tons of examples of crap situations in the workplace. I just wanted to get it out and possibly get a discussion going….

I’ve moved on (I think) and have found better things to focus on in my week – such as the fresh oysters we picked, shucked and feasted on tonight.

I’m back blog…hopefully for good.

-SM

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losing my way but finding other ways

Yes, I have been working through some personal challenges. The course I have been stressing about has totally rocked my world. Somehow – for the first time in my life actually – I have totally dropped the ball and failed to realize that I needed to register for an exam at least a month ago for this course. I have completely missed the deadline (and have until tomorrow now) to either sort it out or cut my losses. When I realized this the other night I totally freaked out at myself. How did this happen? How could I (the person that rereads instructions at least 9 times before starting, or checks the alarm clock at least 7 times before allowing myself to fall asleep) bugger up so majorly on one of my courses? Needless to say I have been sorely disappointed with myself but I have allowed myself at least to move forwards and focus on getting myself back on track.

UGH! I still can’t believe I did it!

Anyways, things have been happening at light speed. Last weekend I went down to Seattle to visit my sisterfriend (John’s sis), her hubby and their new bundle of joy, Adele. She is sweet as pie and I forgot how much I love holding new babies. It was too brief a visit, but it was great to just hang out, cuddle new babies and enjoy good company.

This most recent weekend I played in my first full contact scrimmage for roller derby. I was so nervous, slightly sick (today I am full-blown sick) but managed to have the best time! Our team won, I managed to get a few good hits in there and didn’t hurt myself (minus one pulled quad muscle).

My “baby” chicks are no longer babies. Yesterday John and I decided to put them outside for a few hours in a separate run, next to the older chickens we have.

Today it’s back to business!
Until next time,

-SM

Ok…let’s try again

Wow, I realize what a downer I sounded like in that brief and depressing post.

 

I remembered some excitement to discuss actually!
Since I have been slacking on the health and fitness side of things, yesterday John, the pups and I went to Coombs Market and loaded up on all things fruit and vegetables. We have been eating a lot of fish lately…but that’s about it. So we filled our bags with tons of goodness which has kickstarted my desire to fuel my body with goodness. So, in contrast to my Negative Nancy sounding post below, I have found some inspiration to get going.

Also, in an effort to recruit more ladies to play roller derby, John became my unofficial Hype-Boy. He put up posters and spread the gospel of derby to the staff at the market! Go John!
So, there was something good to chat about.

Perhaps now I’ll do some reading for school 🙂

I guess I am true to form….always switching things up – and yet again I’ve changed up my theme for this blog. I was so inspired by a beautiful spring morning that I just had to give it some colour 🙂

 

These lovely flowers are what got me going this morning: ( ——————>)

 

And yesterday morning the beach got Benji going!

 

 

 

Ahhhhh spring! Bring it on 😀

Bitter Sweet Work Stuff

be a mess emo boy b/w

be a mess emo boy b/w (Photo credit: EmoHoernRockZ)

Well I want to thank you all for your thoughts, ideas and input. It’s been tricky to decide what to do and emotional for me…I am always emotional but definitely NOT emo. (I feel like this last sentence could be my new catch phrase: Sarah Marie: always emotional, definitely NOT emo.)

I am taking the higher paying contract job and remaining on a casual basis at the job I love. I feel I get the best of both worlds: the freedom to build my own schedule, more money but still get to work where I really love. I figure this is a temporary scenario until the time is right in the future to apply for another permanent position at the place I love with better hours. My boss there totally understood but she was sad – which didn’t help. But I appreciate the chance to have both and realize in today’s tough job market (especially on this island) I am extremely lucky!

I had a couple of sick days this week – I wasn’t entirely playing hooky either, I actually did feel on the brink of a nasty flu (aching muscles, ear aches etc). With that time I did some productive things from the comforts of my bed and couch: I wrote some short stories and joined twitter. Totally random and unrelated right?

You may have noticed on the side above Jean Luc Picard a ticker with my twitter stuff.

The short stories were partially for an assignment for a course I am taking (well one of them was) and also for random enjoyment. Perhaps I have found yet another hobby to dabble in…and perhaps with some polishing I may share one of them sometime…..we’ll see.

Tomorrow is a marathon workday for me so I’ll likely try to check back in after the weekend. Happy first weekend of spring! I’m off to do the roller derby workout before bed.
Adios Amigos

-SM

The ladies are settling in

The hens are settling nicely – in two days we have gotten about 8 eggs (two broke – bummer!). We were pleasantly surprised they layed eggs since we expected a transition period due to the “traumatic move” we put them through and adjusting to their new home. We were wrong – they seem fine and this morning John and I enjoyed two eggs each with toast!

Success 🙂

Wind Day

Today was meant to be my day off….I just got home from work, having worked an overnight shift. Yuck. Today was also meant to be seed planting day for our garden. There are near 100 km winds gusting across the island, it’s raining/snowing sideways and my truck was hydroplaning much of my 40+ km drive home. And it’s Monday – which usually means nothing to me since I work weekends, but today really feels like a severe case of the Mondays.

I am not sure if I’ll plant anything because I cannot bear to think about sitting outside (even if under cover) to plant seeds. In stead I think we’ll bundle up and go down to the water front to take in some spectacular waves.

Part of me wants to slip back into some jammies and lounge about on the couch.

We’ll see….

Welcome Newcomers

As my survey post earlier today may have given away, I have been thinking about the direction this blog is going in or not going in. I’ve been toying with different ideas on a separate roller derby one or trying to narrow in on something more specific. I have yet to figure that all out, but in the meantime I have noticed some new subscribers.

Welcome new subscribers!

So I’ve further been thinking about why I write or what I write about. Basically, it’s my way of working through my life events while inviting others for input, support or to share some of my experiences. I don’t think I lead a particularly exciting life, but some way or another I have interested a few people to come along for the ride which I feel pretty honoured by. Thanks for reading and not being all judgey.

I like to write things down. Sometimes I have superb ideas (in my mind) and sometimes I need to make a list, or other times I just randomly write down the first words that come to my mind (and it won’t make any sense or even be in sentences, I just write down random words). I enjoy the process of jotting things down. Sometimes I write down jokes I hear (because I can never remember jokes when I need them) or other times I write the lyrics of songs I like, or names or grocery lists. To me, writing is fun and soothing.

I also enjoy thinking about the injustices in the world and how I would change them if I were some sort of superpower. I enjoy daydreaming about winning the lottery or being a wizard – and then I make a list about how I would spend my lottery winnings and use my wizardry.

And now I am rambling…sorry.

Welcome newcomers, feel free to make a comment or share a link or something. If you are a fellow blogger, I’ll make an effort to come see your blog.

-SM

There is light…..I can see it

It’s been a drabby and long, wet, winter. Today the sun has graced us with its presence here in small town. I celebrated by sleeping in (gross – but I worked a 19 hour shift the day before) and took the pups to the dog park. I walked by my chicken coop that I am itching to fill with life (as in chickens) and took mental note of the work I will do on it this Monday.

Chickens are on order for April – can’t wait! But in the meantime I will be occupying myself with getting the garden going and learning more about that. In addition to keeping up with my goals.

The light I am referring to is not only the sunshine: I am talking about breaking through the long and arduous wall that has been keeping me from getting financially stable since this move in November. Moving is hard and a huge financial burden, let alone moving to an island and establishing a job and working all that out. I am days away from being able to let out a huge sigh of relief and hopefully sleep restfully (after celebrating). The thing about money and the stress that accompanies it, is that it is hard to get it out of your mind, especially if you are falling behind. It can be terrifying: how will I make it until ____ date? how will I pay off ____ bill? what about gas for my car? There is always something that comes up it seems.

When we moved, I was in school full-time (correspondence) and had a loan, a small savings and the attitude that I can get a job anywhere. Which is true (to an extent) but what I did not take into account is the possibility that it could take a while to get going. I am grateful and realize how lucky I am, but MAN it’s been a hard few months. So my strategy to get through this all was to keep the best attitude about it as I could. Inevitably it got to me and there were times where I would stress and stress until I made myself sick. What a mess.

But I did keep telling myself that “it has to get better, and it will.”

It did. And I am quite certain it will continue to get better. So the sunshine today has really assisted in not only boosting my vitamin D intake, but also my proverbial spirits. The sun is shining and the weather is sweet my friends. Take some time to appreciate what you have, what you’ve worked for and share it with someone special.

Much love,

-SM

Pushing Boundaries and Zones

I sense a revamp of some of my goals coming on….with the addition of making sufficient time in my life to write on my blog. Just a thought.

So boundaries have been on my mind. We have our own personal boundaries that we operate within, for example how comfortable we are disclosing information to other people, how touchy feely we are, how much we allow work to infiltrate our personal life – these are just a few examples I’ve thought of off the top of my head.

Why have I been thinking about my own boundaries? Well last Sunday I amazed myself. I played in my first ever scrimmage (which was so awesome by the way). Unfortunately this post is not going to focus so much on derby (tossing around the idea of a new blog to follow my progression there in the derby world alone and keeping this one my potpourri of life stuff – thoughts?) What was astonishing to me, was that I went. You see, two days before I was meant to go I learned that the other 5 of my teammates had backed out of the scrimmage and failed to let me know. I was sorely disappointed on many levels. First, it was hard to not take it personally right? Why was I out of the loop? Second, I had taken the day off of work (which I can’t really afford, but soooooooo wanted to go) and would be sitting at home feeling sad about how it might have gone. Third, if I didn’t go to the scrimmage I would have had practice that night, and honestly I really didn’t want to go face the folks that backed out on me.

So, against my personal comfort levels I forced myself to make the journey solo. I was completely terrified and at times felt ridiculous, stupid and that I was going to completely suck when I had to skate. As the day progressed though, I was collecting new friends left and right and by the end of the tremendously LOOOOONG day, I realized I had had one of the best days of just me (and a bunch of new friends) in ages. I certainly had to push myself further outside of my own comfort zone but it was worth it. I strongly recommend daring yourself to explore some unknown waters of your own – incredible feeling at the end of it.

Earlier last week, I took a bunch of extra shifts at my second job (one of these things that sounds great when you need the money) and I have paid with my sanity and sleep deprivation this week for it. This week I have pushed myself to the limit of how much work I can take on and how many hours of sleep I actually HAVE to HAVE in order to function. Lesson learned: be realistic about how much you can really take on.

I will do another post on the other things I’m thinking about!

Happy Friday 🙂
-SM