Accepting defeat

Today is a sad day for me and I couldn’t figure out how else to channel my feelings, so I thought I’d reach out blog-style. I have pets, and I love them very much. I have had a cat for years and a couple of years ago I adopted the cat I currently have. She’s a nice cat but very very shy. She often hides most of the day and wanders around at night.

We (my partner and I) have been experiencing a troubling issue with our cat for 1.5 years. She pees on our belongings. Unfortunately it is mostly on my partner’s clothes, bags, work stuff but on other occasions it has been random: our bed, blankets, laundry. It sucks. I have taken her to the vet (many times) and been told she is healthy and it is behavioural. I have tried artificial hormones (like a “glade” plug-in with cat-friendly scents), cleaning the litter box daily, vet recommended food, playing with her, talking to her, fancy litter box. I have tried and tried and tried. I love her so much that I have spent money that I don’t have to try to curb this problem. It has caused a great strain and tension in the house now because I am constantly in fear that she’ll do it again and I won’t find it in time.

A few weeks ago while doing laundry, we discovered she had done it again and peed on a fancy wool sweater of John’s. Disappointing indeed. We had a talk…….It has to stop because it isn’t fair for anyone now. If the cat is upset or doesn’t like someone or her surroundings then I have to accept that. We just can’t keep finding our belongings marked. So the talk resulted in a last effort to “socialize” her more, which she does but she still managed to do it again. This time on an expensive piece of work equipment (that is fabric – kind of like a giant heating pad) that John uses for work.

Today I am faced with having to find her a new home and it makes me so incredibly sad. As I said, I would rather her be in a home that she is happy and relaxed rather than force her to stay here and be upset. But I can’t help but feel that I have failed somehow. She acts happy and lovey to me but she keeps doing this behaviour. I am sure that I will come off as a heartless bitch for parting with her, but that is far from who I really am. I am a sad pet owner that has run out of ideas and energy to curb this problem that has taken over my house in the last while.

My feeling is that my beloved kitty is best with a single lady rather than a big guy and two dogs (and me). I only hope that I can find the right person and that I will have the strength to let her go and not allow my own ego and emotions get in the way.

A’s all over the place!

Yep, you read it right…final marks include A’s across the board. Yeeeehaww!

Other than geeking out on my marks, not too much to report as of late. I have had miserable weather for my paper route (like huge emphasis on MISERABLE), there has been sideways rain, sleet, wind and more rain. Luckily I have my trusty rain hat that I swear by. I realize it’s not a fashion statement by any means but when it comes to weather like this I am one happy camper beneath my rain hat. I have had many jobs outside such as construction, landscaping, my route, I like to camp, hike and be outside. Without this hat I would not be nearly as willing to participate in the above activities. So how awesome is my hat? See for yourself…….

 I’ve had a couple of exciting practices this week at roller derby too. I am getting ready to try to do my minimum skills test in a week and last night I got a little over zealous. You see, I tend to fall a bit (when I say a bit, I mean more like quite a lot), but I chalk it up to that I am trying hard. Last night I had a really really good fall that resulted in a trip to the emergency for x-rays. I landed pretty hard on one side and thought I had done something serious to my elbow, but luckily I got off easy with no breaks and an Rx to ice the crap out of it for a few days. Phewf! I also managed to do a doozy on my lower butt cheek that made driving home one handed and nearly one butt-cheeked very interesting. What was awesome was that some of my derby sisters drove me to the ER and waited and cheered me on as I went through the embarrassing process of explaining myself to the doctor. They were planning on where I would stay or who would get me home (since I live out-of-town) which was so awesome because I felt very taken care of. I guess this is what they mean by “derby love“, cause I felt it! Thanks team!!! XOXO

**Warning, I’ve added a risqué pic of my booty here to show my war wound** 

You’ll notice that the part circled in red is enlarged….The picture doesn’t do it justice though, when I looked down at it last night it was as if a can of coke was growing underneath my skin – it was large. Ice is my best friend today and I think I’ll have the swelling under control in time for Sundays’ practice!

So the rest of my day includes playing video games, reading, knitting (if my elbow agrees with that) and thinking up ways to change the world! Muh hahahahahahahaha.

Oh ya! One more thing…I found out yesterday from my sisterfriend (what John’s sis and I refer to each other by) when the baby’s eviction notice is – February 3rd which is NEXT FRIDAY! So I will be heading stateside next week for the excitement! WOOO YAA!

Keep it real out there

-SM

………..A few things I’ve thought about today…………

So today was a day I woke up feeling motivated by health. This sounds completely sappy, but it’s been an active week (super fun roller derby practice last night) where I’ve been outside a ton and cooking from scratch. But this is not the main topic for why I am writing. The two things I feel compelled to discuss:

1) perseverance

2) Loving yourself (and not necessarily in the “x-rated” way, but go for that too if it makes ya feel good)

per·se·ver·ance

noun

1.

steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.

Ok, a steady persistent course of action. Well I consider this to apply to many things we all go through in life – learning, growing, working towards something. I am finding myself bogged down with school, but I know the end is getting closer (freakishly closer when I look at the calendar and my exam schedule) which many people have been there, done that. But I know myself to be the procrastinator-extraordinaire and here I find myself searching for things to do other than write this paper that is hanging over my head. And this isn’t the first time. I tend to do this, avoid something that freaks me out (in this case a big scary psych. paper) until it literally makes me sick. I know right? Like what the heck is my deal. I know I will get it done but it will come at the cost of all nighters in front of my computer screen, stressing myself out. Or maybe not. I just find that academics have never come easy to me, ever, but I guess I keep persevering through it to reach a goal. So maybe I just answered my own question/dilemma/addressed my problem. Working hard and pushing through it all is the only way it’ll happen despite the discouragement I’m feeling. Ugh. Sorry this wasn’t meant to be a downer, more of a “real life experience” that I’m sure everyone feels. Overwhelmed and freaked out.

My second topic: Loving yourself, was inspired by a Television commercial I heard today while wandering the house procrastinating (well I wasn’t aimlessly wandering, I was doing random chores). The commercial was for a beauty product (can’t recall what exactly, some sort of face stuff) and what I heard was something along the lines of

“Research has now proven that by age 20 your skin begins to act/feel/look older”

Excuse me?

There is more than just one thing wrong with this statement. The first being, way to shamelessly market your product to teens (because surely they must jump on board before they hit the dreaded……20th birthday) by spending their allowance on overpriced chemicals to coat their faces with.

The second is, shouldn’t our skin act/feel/look older along with the rest of our biological makeup because we ARE aging. This doesn’t necessarily mean 20 year olds will get wrinkly (unless they are addicted to tanning beds), but according to science I am pretty sure that our whole body is meant to age right along with us, face and all. Just saying.

And the third problem I have with this add, and many more just like it, are that I am tired of being told/brainwashed that we should try to defy the natural process of aging. Yes I believe in leading a healthy lifestyle, but I refuse to buy into “age defying” makeup and magical potions that promise to keep me looking young. Seriously, what the hell is a chemical peel and why would I ever want one? I am just not a fan of trying to trick myself into thinking I won’t age if I cake some over priced crap on to my face. And I don’t think it is fair that women & men have been subjected to such a superficial world where this is all “normal”. Somehow I have found myself smack in the middle of rant.
I think what I’m really getting at, is that you can buy all the age defying potions you want, but at the end of the day do you love the way you look in the mirror? If yes, than great! But I suspect that there may be a slippery slope with all of these targeted marketing campaigns……when is it enough? I know that I am not a beauty queen by media standards, but I like what I’ve got going on and to me that is what matters. Of course there are parts of me I wish were skinnier, or smoother or whatever, but I still think I’m awesome and I ain’t afraid to say it. I encourage everyone to write down an ongoing list of attributes that you love about yourself. Start with a minimum of 5 and look over them often.

Oh ok, I’ll go ahead and get the ball rolling:

1) I have nice thick hair

2) I am tall and I like that

3) I like my freckles

4) My eyebrows seem to naturally shape themselves, and I like that too

5) I like my legs

***disclaimer***

*no, I’m not an ego maniac, just someone who isn’t afraid to be bold about being awesome*

-SM