Category Archives: Funny stories or observations

Bitter Sweet Work Stuff

be a mess emo boy b/w

be a mess emo boy b/w (Photo credit: EmoHoernRockZ)

Well I want to thank you all for your thoughts, ideas and input. It’s been tricky to decide what to do and emotional for me…I am always emotional but definitely NOT emo. (I feel like this last sentence could be my new catch phrase: Sarah Marie: always emotional, definitely NOT emo.)

I am taking the higher paying contract job and remaining on a casual basis at the job I love. I feel I get the best of both worlds: the freedom to build my own schedule, more money but still get to work where I really love. I figure this is a temporary scenario until the time is right in the future to apply for another permanent position at the place I love with better hours. My boss there totally understood but she was sad – which didn’t help. But I appreciate the chance to have both and realize in today’s tough job market (especially on this island) I am extremely lucky!

I had a couple of sick days this week – I wasn’t entirely playing hooky either, I actually did feel on the brink of a nasty flu (aching muscles, ear aches etc). With that time I did some productive things from the comforts of my bed and couch: I wrote some short stories and joined twitter. Totally random and unrelated right?

You may have noticed on the side above Jean Luc Picard a ticker with my twitter stuff.

The short stories were partially for an assignment for a course I am taking (well one of them was) and also for random enjoyment. Perhaps I have found yet another hobby to dabble in…and perhaps with some polishing I may share one of them sometime…..we’ll see.

Tomorrow is a marathon workday for me so I’ll likely try to check back in after the weekend. Happy first weekend of spring! I’m off to do the roller derby workout before bed.
Adios Amigos



A’s all over the place!

Yep, you read it right…final marks include A’s across the board. Yeeeehaww!

Other than geeking out on my marks, not too much to report as of late. I have had miserable weather for my paper route (like huge emphasis on MISERABLE), there has been sideways rain, sleet, wind and more rain. Luckily I have my trusty rain hat that I swear by. I realize it’s not a fashion statement by any means but when it comes to weather like this I am one happy camper beneath my rain hat. I have had many jobs outside such as construction, landscaping, my route, I like to camp, hike and be outside. Without this hat I would not be nearly as willing to participate in the above activities. So how awesome is my hat? See for yourself…….

 I’ve had a couple of exciting practices this week at roller derby too. I am getting ready to try to do my minimum skills test in a week and last night I got a little over zealous. You see, I tend to fall a bit (when I say a bit, I mean more like quite a lot), but I chalk it up to that I am trying hard. Last night I had a really really good fall that resulted in a trip to the emergency for x-rays. I landed pretty hard on one side and thought I had done something serious to my elbow, but luckily I got off easy with no breaks and an Rx to ice the crap out of it for a few days. Phewf! I also managed to do a doozy on my lower butt cheek that made driving home one handed and nearly one butt-cheeked very interesting. What was awesome was that some of my derby sisters drove me to the ER and waited and cheered me on as I went through the embarrassing process of explaining myself to the doctor. They were planning on where I would stay or who would get me home (since I live out-of-town) which was so awesome because I felt very taken care of. I guess this is what they mean by “derby love“, cause I felt it! Thanks team!!! XOXO

**Warning, I’ve added a risqué pic of my booty here to show my war wound** 

You’ll notice that the part circled in red is enlarged….The picture doesn’t do it justice though, when I looked down at it last night it was as if a can of coke was growing underneath my skin – it was large. Ice is my best friend today and I think I’ll have the swelling under control in time for Sundays’ practice!

So the rest of my day includes playing video games, reading, knitting (if my elbow agrees with that) and thinking up ways to change the world! Muh hahahahahahahaha.

Oh ya! One more thing…I found out yesterday from my sisterfriend (what John’s sis and I refer to each other by) when the baby’s eviction notice is – February 3rd which is NEXT FRIDAY! So I will be heading stateside next week for the excitement! WOOO YAA!

Keep it real out there


Appreciating some simple pleasures

Wooosh! (that is the sound effect to sum up last week for me)

It’s not that I’ve been avoiding my blog, I’ve been busy trying to keep up with everything. But last night on my drive home from Roller Derby practice, my mind suddenly became aware of some things that I am really lucky to have.

My drive to and from practice is about 40 minutes on a winding, single lane highway through a mountain pass. Since I’ve started, it’s always in the dark, usually the fog and lately there has been quite a bit of rain. Last night was a bit different though, the moon was full (or very nearly). I googled “Full Moon Calendar 2012” and it was either last night or it’s tonight. My point is, is that it was bright and lovely. So much so, that I actually pulled over for a bit to admire the beauty. There is a point on my drive where the road goes alongside a lake with two mountains as the backdrop to the lake, and usually when it is darker you can just barely see the outline of the mountains. Last night however was superb. It was this late night, mountain road, moon gazing that got me thinking about opportunities such as this that I really need to stop and take in more. Or maybe we all could stand to slow down a bit more.

So, first simple pleasure I’d like to appreciate – a good, quiet, full moon that seemed to belong only to me for the ten minutes I took it in. Thanks moony!

The next simple pleasure I’d like to highlight is water. I think I mentioned a while back that my house is on well water. With the crazy rain storm we had last week, our well pump house flooded and since then, the water coming out of our taps is discoloured. I’ve been really complaining to myself that I have to boil a huge pot of water before I can pour it into my Brita water filter. Then I realized how ridiculous that sounds. At least I have water at any given time coming out of my taps and I can pick the temperature.

So three cheers for running water (even though I may have to boil it before consumption from time to time). Hip Hip Hooray.

My next observation for appreciation goes to going on a movie date. John and I went out on a Saturday night this week to take in the latest scary movie; the Devil Inside. I can’t remember the last time I actually went to a movie on the opening weekend, let alone a Saturday night. Also, I don’t think I’ve ever gone to see a horror/thriller movie in the theatre before – definitely worth it just for the crowd excitement!

Let’s hear it for movie night!

The final small wonder I’d like to mention is a good bath (especially when I’m spending 2+ hours, 3x week falling/getting smashed around and intense cardio at practice). Last night after my moon-drive home, there was a bath running just waiting for me to jump in. What makes me REALLY lucky is that my bathtub is one of those fancy deep ones with jets. My muscles were so thankful last night, therefore so am I.

Thank you bathtub! (and ice packs for my butt and knees)

Oh ya, one more thing….


Have a super one!


Delivering papers as a grown up

I recently moved to a  very small town from the bustling and overpriced city of Vancouver, BC (which is beautiful but I cannot imagine owning a home there ever). I am completing a heavy course load of distance education courses so I left my job at the end of September. When we moved, I was perusing the local paper in new small town and spotted an add that said “News carriers wanted! Adults welcome!”. Well doesn’t that sound fun, I thought.

So I called in and took up a paper route. This is not the only way I make a living, I am about to start training this week at the “real job.” I go out twice a week and deliver papers – complete with nifty canvass paper bag. I’m thinking about pimping my paper bag, perhaps some added flair with concert patches or crocheted bling or something. I wear a neat hat too – but this is my own decision. Depending on weather I have an old man taxi driver style hat, or on the colder days, one of my stylish winter hats.

My paper route takes a little over one hour to do and each time I am getting ready to do it, I feel giddy and ridiculous all at once.

Things I like about my paper route:

1) For the 1+ of fast walking (with resistance – recall nifty paper bag) 2x a week

2) The quiet/alone time where I contemplate my life/day/empty bank account/next roller derby practice

3) Singing. I love to sing, I suck at it. Nobody seems to mind my singing while I wander up their driveways

4) Cookies. There are many old people in my small town, and they make cookies and give them to me.

5) Small talk with random people. This is kind of part of one of my goals – meeting new people in the new community – well apparently people like to talk to me (and call my paper boss to say they “like my paper delivering style”)

Things I do not like about my paper route:
1) I hate touching newspapers. Ironic right? I hate the feel of inky newsprint on my bare hands. I wear gloves when I “roll my papers”

2) The pay is shit. It’s almost funny. It pays my truck insurance each month and that’s it.

3) Creepy old men hitting on the paper girl. The line I got today: “I must need to get my eyes checked, because I don’t remember the paper guy being this good looking!” (I did not accept cookies from him). No, you need to get your eyes checked because it may be a safety violation while you get behind the wheel of your ginourmous boat of a vehicle.

4) Scary dogs. I love dogs. I have two dogs. Why do three houses on my route allow their menacing and scary dogs roam free in the front yard/road with no supervision? I toss their papers and run (when usually I hand deliver to the front door) and don’t look back.

5) Unfriendly paper recipients. I guess before I came along to the route, the other carrier would do drive-bys: stay in their car and whip the paper from the car window. I park and load my bag and walk it baby and I’ve gotten two evil glares from windows. Why? I have no idea! Bastards.

I don’t know how much longer I’ll get to keep my paper route though… I said, training is starting next week and then I’ll be on call for the job so it may not be feasible to keep it. But until then I’ll keep on walking.


Are You Afraid of the Dark?……(I am)

I’m not afraid to admit it. I’m afraid of the dark. That’s funny. Not being afraid to say I’m afraid. Anyways, it’s true; I am scared silly by the prospect of being alone in the dark. And this is no funny matter. I have included a small list of things that come to mind for me while I contemplate my adult fear of the dark. Maybe, just maybe, I can work through it.

  • Shadows are creepy… can be as easy as a distant car driving by and the faint shining of the headlights that hit one of the walls in the house, but let’s face it….it could also be an ominous boogie-man doing shadow puppets to get a rise out of you.
  • Strange “house sounds”, you know the ones. They are the sounds of rapping at the window or the side of the house. Sure, they could also be the heater kicking in, but it makes more sense that the same shadow-puppet boogie-man is running a xylophone stick along the side of the house as he skips gleefully around your house in circles, laughing and snorting and looking all crazy. Obviously.
  • Dogs barking in the distant. I have dogs, but I KNOW this is spooky. The dogs are trying to warn you that there is something very creepy in your basement…..or your closet, and it’s most likely that bad-ass boogie-man.
  • Any scary movie. Ones that particularly come to mind are “It” because clowns are messed up, and the one with the scary kid with cat-eyes and teeth. Why is it that I am afraid of a creepy little cat-kid? Because cats like the dark and I know he’s hiding behind my door.
  • Ghosts. They seem to be quite lively in the dark. Which is ironic, since they are dead.
  • Pretty much anything that goes on while it is dark (and I happen to be alone, whether it is alone in my bedroom, or completely alone in the house).

Some of the things I do to feel even slightly less frightened include:

  • Flashlights….they are everywhere because I realize at some point I have to sleep and that requires lights off. But what if I have to pee? Flashlights.
  • A good clear path from the light switch to the bed to make a good, quick dash for under the covers. You’re darn rights I still make the mad dash.
  • *not to sound alarming, this only applies in the rare event that I am in the house alone overnight* I keep a sharp kitchen utensil at my bedside.
  • As a follow-up to the last point, I realize the kitchen utensil will not “cut it” (pun!) for a ghost, that is why I now have an enchanted tomahawk for such an occasion – which can also be found at bedside. (Apparently enchanted blades can take out ghosts and other spooky beings)
  • portable phone near by.
  • A text-book. For some reading that will surely put me to sleep.

Once you are done poking fun at my serious affliction, please provide any suggestions. Do I need a Ouija board? A Rabbi? A Ghost Hunter? A Life? Help!


My cat, my keeper….for cat lovers

I am an animal lover through and through. Two dogs, four geckos, three tarantulas and of course my cat, Betty. She and I have had our differences, but I love her still. In just over two years, she’s escaped from our old condo three times, two of which required time-consuming and stressful searches. I’m not convinced she did it deliberately though, since she waited patiently below our balcony for three days for me to find her.

There is just something about having a cat though. No, cleaning a litter box is not enjoyable. No, she doesn’t fetch and she isn’t particularly social with anyone other than me. But she loves me, I can tell. She comes when I call her, tucks me in at night (or stares at me while I sleep, which is slightly creepy but I’m sure she means well by it) and helps me do my homework. She is regal at times – or likes to act like it. She’s a bit clumsy but she’s my kitty and I am happy to have her.

She can tell the time, I’m sure of it. She knows exactly when it’s bedtime and when it’s breakfast time – she is always there to remind me. She is definitely a girly girl, which is interesting, since that isn’t really my style. But she knows who she is and what she wants. She picked me at the SPCA.

I’ve had some past issues with my lovely kitty – regarding her concept of what equals a littler box and what doesn’t. I am thinking that she’s liking the new place and is starting to come around since she has become way more social with the dogs, us and freely explores the new house…without incident (fingers crossed). So this post is for Bettysocks (my silly nickname for her) and a “shout out” to her for being a good kitty in the new home. For keeping me company for long hours at the computer screen, my reading chair and for just general snuggling. Meow!

Oh deer! First week in the twigs

Well, it’s happened. We have survived the move from the mainland to island life. Boy oh boy was it worth it! The new place is unpacking as to be expected for me….quite chaotically however I feel that in all of the madness I have some form of “organized chaos” within it all….sort of. I am proud to say that one of the bathrooms looks very inviting and in fact resembles one of a real grown up – could this really be my doing? Almost. With the help of a lovely sisterfriend of mine, I have purchased towels! Lots and lots of matching, colour-schemed towels in all types of sizes!

Aside from fancy new towels, the setting up of a new place is fun but quite exhausting. Trying to figure out furniture arrangements, and designating rooms for certain purposes is fun, but if I decide it’s not quite right then it means more furniture moving. And seriously, my body has NOT healed since my adventures of dining room table/deep freezer-toe-smashy last week. I’ll survive.

So what have I done in the last four days of my new rural life? Well, I walk two minutes to a fenced off-leash dog park for the boys to run wild….well Benji runs wild. Walter sniffs around, pees, sits on the covered bench or waits by the gate for Benji to stop chasing balls. Seriously. I’ve mingled with some other “small town folk” who are also dog people – something I may have once scoffed at, but our chats have been quite pleasant and informative. I learned where the hospital is, other dog-friendly areas, shops and oh ya, the cougar sighting nearby! What? Yes, there has been a cougar sighting in my new ‘hood. Cool and freaky at the same time.

I’ve done a bit of a grocery shop in town and spotted the local ethical meat butcher place (it was closed when I drove by, but I know where it is!) and plan on checking it out for real today or tomorrow.
I’ve picked apples from the tree outside and made one helluva delicious pie! Mmmmm pie.

The new favorite pass time is deer spotting. There are plenty of deer that have laid claim to the property we’re on LONG before we got here, so we run from window to window scrambling with the camera to try to get some shots of them. We are mainly seeing does, but we did spot a young buck yesterday. The pic isn’t the greatest, and clearly you can see the window frame, but as proof, take a look at this boy!

So today I am up early (the crack of 6am that is) to help John wake up for work. He still has to travel once a week to the mainland and stay over night to work his two days at his clinic there, and he is NOT a morning person. So in an effort to help bear the burden of waking up when it is dark out, I got up too and packed him a lunch. For the next two days I will continue to explore my beautiful new surroundings, check out the meat guy in town, research which breeds of chickens to get and where we will get them and catch up on a ton of school work. But before I dive into all of that, I will finish my coffee and listen to the dogs continue to snore at my feet.

Happy Thursday folks 🙂

Moving woes, broken toes and a missing cat! (and a few choice words)

Moving is stressful and hard and dirty and painful! We did the second half of the large move this past weekend. A rented UHaul, long border wait times. crappy parking, two parking tickets were just a few of the snags we faced on day one of the final half of moving.

Saturday: John spotted a fab dining room set including china cabinet on Craigslist , so we picked that up first on Saturday. It was an ordeal though. We bought if off of a nice older couple and with much blood, sweat, near tears and one tumbling old man. He was determined to be part of the process and seemed adamant about tying a rope to every piece we carried down the treacherous stairs, which in theory was a good idea, but in reality was more dangerous – a definite tripping hazard. Following our stint with the old couple, we loaded up the few things we had in our storage locker – John’s favorite pink chair included 😉

Sunday: Loading day. Back and forth from our 2nd floor condo down to street level with everything. We were not without incident though. Somehow, managed to drop a deep freezer onto my foot, crunching my big toe in the process. A few minutes later and some choice words I opted to take a break. We loaded up the rest of our stuff all morning with just enough time to book it off to the ferry. It’s quite a scene to fit two full-grown adults plus two dogs into the small cab of a Uhaul rental truck. For two hours. On a ferry. But we managed. Wally was set on driving though. Benji wasn’t sure where to sit. We managed to unload the truck once we arrived in record time. We were happily greeted (in the dark) at our new place by 5 deer on our front lawn. Neat. Back to unloading. Everything went off without a hitch…almost. The second to last piece to come out of the truck was part of the china cabinet from yesterday’s older couple. Running on nearly nothing, and extremely exhausted, I for some reason ,thought I could handle lifting a huge, heavy piece of furniture late at night. On the count of 1-2-3 lift! Suddenly, I went down. Under the cabinet. On to my knee. Pain and confusion followed by a few choice words. I was okay, but minus a pair of jeans (that completely tore apart this weekend) and a swollen knee and a bruised ego.

We cracked our celebratory beers that night and bundled up to go outside to see the stars. We could hear coyotes somewhere out in the field and that was it. Very cool.

Monday: Up early to load ourselves and the pups back into the Uhaul to catch the morning ferry. 2 hours later, back in the old place. Crap, the patio door was open! Betty (my cat) nowhere to be seen 😦 Time was ticking before we had to get the rental truck back over the border (which already had a lineup) and the cat was missing. I was hysterical! A few choice words later, we were furiously driving the rental to the border and quickly came home to begin the search…..

Within 20 minutes we had located Betty but couldn’t get to her. It took John jumping a fence, an old lady with a broom and another old lady’s car keys and one random guy in a plaid shirt (plus me) to wrangle the cat and we had rescued her within an hour. Phewf! Just enough time to jump in the truck and drive another hour! The day resulted in me getting a handy-dandy new (used) SUV and a few beers (once home). It’s been a long weekend of blood(for real! and bruises), sweat – a whole lotta, and tears (sad and happy) but we survived. And we are stronger for it! This weekend we will officially be islanders.

Go forth and be happy!

Fall has officially fallen at my house

It’s funny you know, because I get the feeling that I am not the only person who loves this season. I love wearing sweaters, jeans, new knits I’ve been working on and hats! I can officially announce that I feel fall now. It’s cool, windy, the squash are fequenting the produce sections and it’s getting dark at dinner time.

Today marked the day where fall kind of pulled at my heartstrings….I began dismantling my garden 😦 It’s one of those things that I dread usually, but in the spirit of getting ready to move, it was a job that needed doing. So it was mixed with excitement (because surely next years’ garden will rock your socks off) and sadness.

My five tomato plants served me well this year albeit quite late (must have been the late start to summer). I couldn’t quite bring myself to take them all down, so I trimmed down two and raided the others. With the help of Wally (who was most interested in collecting tomato droppings…in his mouth).

So, the theme of packing and moving is still running high around the house, and so is the theme of making it fun. Here are some of my strategies:

-as previously mentioned: beer/wine/spirits of choice

-fun music

-teamwork (thank you John!)

-wearing a costume : this one may sound odd, but as I’ve been sorting and packing I have come across old costumes, wigs and ridiculous clothing/shoes, so I like to dress up in any of these while packing/cleaning. Why not. I’m having fun and getting work done.

-try to not make the day revolve around packing, do random intervals of packing (which I do when I need a break from readings for school).

Birthgiving Weekend yesterday was John’s birthday. It was the first year that I can remember that I didn’t organize and cook a Canadian Thanksgiving feast. Instead, since John’s day fell on our T’giving, we did our own thing. John decided that hitting up the driving range for a couple of hours would be a fun afternoon to spend part of his day and of course it meant that I get to join. I researched the local driving ranges in our area and opted for one that is pretty near our area as well as sounded most welcoming to our kind… novice amateurs. It said “family friendly”.

It sounds totally ridiculous but I managed to burn through at least three outfits before I decided on what would be “golf appropriate” before we left. Upon arrival we started to get really excited – it was a beautiful sunny day, kind of warm for October and it didn’t look too busy. We paid for our two baskets of balls and club rentals and were directed out the door to drop our tokens into the ball machine.

Oh the ball machine…..

So I walked passed half a dozen or so older men, very into their driving. It was quiet and intense. Then I spotted it…”The ball machine!” I ran to it with my two tokens (each for what we were told was about an hour’s worth of golf balls). I plopped the token in and….oh shucks….the balls came spewing out at record speed, spilling all down the aisle of the upper driving range deck. I noticed a heaping pile of empty baskets BESIDE the ball machine, slightly tucked in the corner. It was too late. They poured for several minutes while the old men turned and watched in disgust. There was one fellow who assured me “it’s not the first time that’s happened!” with a chuckle. He helped wrangle the rogue balls with us. John laughed. I wanted to cry.

After clambering to locate enough golf balls to moderately fill a basket, we walked to the furthest places at the end of the aisle….far from anyone’s whispers. After a while I gathered myself enough to start driving and we both ended up having a blast. We even got another basket (though I made John go get it and reminded him to use a bucket). After the first 30 minutes of humiliation, I admitted that I was having a good ol’ time at the driving range. Success at the expense of some dignity.

We concluded the day with a nice dinner out and a movie. Not too bad for a Birthgiving Sunday (the term that’s been coined for John’s holiday/birthday).

Packing continues….It’s a real drag but with each box filling up I get more and more excited for the move. I have learned that by organizing the packing with a slight schedule/plan helps, and so does beer and wine – for optimal enjoyment levels. We are planning to take our first big truckload over next weekend. My How-To-Raise-Chickens book has arrived and I am eagerly scanning the pages for the perfect breed. Oh the excitement!