Ok…let’s try again

Wow, I realize what a downer I sounded like in that brief and depressing post.

 

I remembered some excitement to discuss actually!
Since I have been slacking on the health and fitness side of things, yesterday John, the pups and I went to Coombs Market and loaded up on all things fruit and vegetables. We have been eating a lot of fish lately…but that’s about it. So we filled our bags with tons of goodness which has kickstarted my desire to fuel my body with goodness. So, in contrast to my Negative Nancy sounding post below, I have found some inspiration to get going.

Also, in an effort to recruit more ladies to play roller derby, John became my unofficial Hype-Boy. He put up posters and spread the gospel of derby to the staff at the market! Go John!
So, there was something good to chat about.

Perhaps now I’ll do some reading for school 🙂

The Commitment

So not too long ago one of my fellow roller derby team mates (and founder of our league) sent out a message to our Facebook group about commitment to becoming a team. Derby takes up time and energy but I love doing it and the way I feel when I improve my skills.

Not only do we/I as a team member need to go to practice and give it my all, I also need to work at becoming a healthier and more active person. I was inspired by her message because I have watched her throw herself into a huge life change which includes eating as a vegan, losing weight, and training in all sorts of activities to build endurance and stamina. When I read her post I thought “well I go to practice, I am healthyish….”
But really….I could be doing better. So rather than looking at the “learn to run” program I’ve downloaded…I’ve started it and I’m only in week one but it’s a start. Becoming a runner/athlete is hard, scary and daunting really….but I have heard from other runners that once they have gotten into it, it becomes natural.

Today I went for a walk/run at the beach with the dogs and I did not feel like I was going to puke….huzzah! Let’s see how the rest of the week goes 🙂
Any runner-readers out there? I’d love some tips.

Two days until the scrimmage 🙂

-SM

The ladies are settling in

The hens are settling nicely – in two days we have gotten about 8 eggs (two broke – bummer!). We were pleasantly surprised they layed eggs since we expected a transition period due to the “traumatic move” we put them through and adjusting to their new home. We were wrong – they seem fine and this morning John and I enjoyed two eggs each with toast!

Success 🙂

Moving at the speed of light! (Derby-style)

Seriously, it’s not that I haven’t wanted to post….but life’s been busy!

Last week was a long one. I had my papers, had to work and had to haul ass (for an hour+ drive) to derby practice, where I would be tested for minimum skills. For those who are unfamiliar with what I am talking about, the sport of roller derby is not just bawdy chicks in fish nets roller skating. Sure we do get to wear fun socks and tights, but it is a physically demanding sport. With practices three times per week, I was hoping it would get easier….it doesn’t. It continues to be awesome fun and makes me feel very amazing, but there are times in practice that my legs feel like they will give out on me, I am covered in bruises and have become one with ice packs.

Anyways…..I woke up last Tuesday with a sore throat. Not just a tickle, like a serious “it-hurts-to-talk-or-swallow-or-open-my-mouth” sore throat. Typical too, since I’ve been boasting about not being sick in almost a year. So I was thinking that my day was ruined…..

BUT………

I passed my minimum skills! And it was HARD. It was 2 hours of intense, non-stop skating to the point that I thought I was going to keel over. The coach wanted me to relax (because I looked shaky and terrified) when really I was sicker than I’d felt in a year. Fever, sore throat, achy muscles. I passed though and I am so so so pleased. It’s not all easy now, in fact I think it will get a lot more difficult. I will need to improve a lot more before I consider myself ready for it all, but I’m happy to have passed. I signed up for a scrimmage on Feb.19th as Fresh Meat! Again for those who have no idea what I’m talking about:

A Scrimmage is kind of like an unofficial bout (or game). I will be playing with many players from other teams in our region to make up two teams. A bout is a game consisting of a particular team’s roster.

Fresh Meat: The term for rookie derby players.

Last weekend I went down to Seattle WA, and hit up Fast Girl Skates and picked up new wheels, knee pads, wrist guards and laces! Early birthday presents for me! So I continue to push myself each time I go to practice, and have some days that feel better on skates than others, but the point is I keep going because I love it.
You may have noticed in my NYResolutions tab, I’ve updated it to note that I have already achieved one of this year’s goals: I PASSED!

Into the New Year

Although I am pressed for time (thank you multiple assignments due this week) I feel the need to ring in the new year, blog-style. I’ve been thinking about resolutions and my ambivalence towards making them. Perhaps you feel the same way “Why make a goal that I am likely to fail?” I’ve done the typical lose weight, quit smoking, cut back on this and that, start this, do more of that resolutions, but I find I don’t really stay on top of them enough to make a real go of any of these resolutions.

Why is it that I don’t follow-up on these plans for myself? Seriously….I don’t have an answer to this.

Here’s what I’ve come up with so far:

1) First and foremost, I think I would like to actually track the progress of following a resolution through to the end. How will I do this? I’m thinking about doing a weekly check in with myself to see how I’ve done. This will require a new diary/day planner and a spiffy pen – luckily I picked one of each up already.

2) Leave work at work. I work in the human service/care industry and at times it can be hard to leave certain situations at work. So I’d like to make a very conscious effort to leave behind people/names/scenarios/drama/politics of the workplace at my workplace and focus on enjoying the personal time I have with my loved ones as my sacred non-work life (pets included, they don’t need to hear this drama).

3) Find somewhere new to volunteer.

4) Do one good deed for a stranger 1x a week.

5) Get really good a derby skating!

I have a slew of other goals I thought about making resolutions, but I don’t want to crowd my 2012 resos. But just for kicks:

– I’d also really like to pay off some debt and build up my savings again

– Get the tattoo I’ve been thinking about for 2 years

– Give blood

– Start running

– Continue on the healthy path of ethical meat only and plenty of veggies

For New Years Eve, we have a couple of friends visiting, so the plan is to make some delicious appies, have some wine and perhaps bust out some Twister, Cranium or Monopoly while listening to some good music.
Wishing you all a very Happy and safe New Years and may a prosperous and positive 2012 lay ahead for everyone.

Cheers!
-SM

A big life changing moment that I will share, but don’t make fun of me

So last week the inevitable happened….earlier than anticipated. I gave notice to my job. I was planning to do this eventually, especially since we plan to move. But I did not quit for that reason alone. I have enjoyed my job and it breaks my heart to even think about breaking the news to the people I have been supporting for some time now. Thinking about it is really sad. I’ve had bouts of tears to my own personal network about it, which I feel shows how much I deeply care and how it breaks my heart to see “the system” disappoint.

My ultimate decision to do it was a long time coming, and included some personal values and beliefs that felt violated by my employer. I am in the human services field. This is what I am studying, this has been my life’s journey. I have been responsible for real people and their lives and my role has been to help these people realize their own potentials, goals, big and small achievements – things that we do in our lives every day without ever considering to be “a big deal”, only at my job, sometimes it is a big deal.

The interesting thing about the job I’m about to leave is that it can be easy to appear as a non-person. I know it sounds weird. But in the business of supporting others, often there is so much emphasis on “these others” that we as supporters/counsellors/workers/caregivers/whatever-we-are-called goes by the wayside. It is a job that I believe requires a healthy respect and appreciation for all people involved. I truly loved the work that I have done and currently do. It certainly isn’t glamorous, but it is amazing to see some of the tiny triumphs for some of the folks I know.

The deal breaker has been the actual employer for me. I now feel that for an organization in the community living field to flourish, size and grandeur should not be the focus. A small, focussed organization has the ability to really become experts at providing exemplary service rather than expanding at exponential rates having not perfected the level of care for those people already in place. In order for carers (like me and many others) to be great at caring, there has to be some incentive and a healthy respect. Because I felt that some new developments where I worked were not up to ethical standards, and in fact were a step backwards, I was made to feel like a bad employee. After MUCH contemplation I realize I care more about the well-being of the small group I was caring for than the big company. So if that means I go out with a red flag on my file, so be it. My reasons remain deeply rooted in my personal values that I am no longer willing to compromise. Sadness…..

What I am faced with now is kind of scary and exciting. I am a very logical and methodical person. I like to have a contingency plan in place before I make major decisions. Guess what? I don’t have one. In fact, the funniest thing about this all is that I quit my low paying job that I gave my heart and soul to, to become a volunteer! Well that and a full-time student (living off student loans). Crazy. This feels like a big life moment for me and I have been a bag of all sorts of mixed emotions. Thank goodness for having some solid people around me (including John) because this is so drastic for me that it has me constantly debating with myself.

I think that I am satisfied with my ultimate decision. It will be a great relief to be done with a big corporation-style company that violates some things I believe to be right about this field of work. And I am a firm believer in Karma and that things always work out. Should I need a job right away, I’ll be able to get one.

Go with your hearts everyone. Do what feels right to yourselves. It’s been a very empowering experience.

The need for positivity

Image via Wikipedia

It’s been a random couple of weeks….make that a month or so. As some of you may know, we are planning on a big move to a new town – far from what either of us know. It’s exciting and frightening. It is hard to coordinate and sometimes exhausting to think about. But what keeps me going is the thought of greener pastures and a simplified lifestyle.

I have the tendency to get bogged down easily and to dwell on what may not happen (if the case is that I actually need it to happen) or vice versa. Being part of a duo has taught me that when I see these similar symptoms affecting my other half, or friend or someone around me, I need to be positive. It is so important to recognize what we have in our lives that is positive. Can you walk? Can you feed yourself? Can you do your own personal care? Can you say something nice to a stranger today? Can you smile at someone? Do you have food to eat, and water to drink? Do you appreciate simple things such as these?

Life is filled with challenges, heartache, roadblocks, loss and bad luck. But life is also a great lesson and provides opportunities at every chance to realize just how much we have and how much we can do. Of course there are also lots of lovely things in life as well. Just trying to provide some perspective…..

I’ve had a hard week. Rather than feel sorry about it and look for sympathy, I have signed up as a volunteer at my fave animal rescue place. This is just a start however, because there is something to be said about doing good and finding some meaning in getting out of a dark place by giving someone else some light. What else can I do? I feel inspired at the moment and feel the need to start something. In an effort to release some energy I feel like another closet raid is in order. Time to clear out anything I haven’t worn in the last 3 months and give it away to charity. Ideas? Anyone else feel like starting something?